Happy BD and D day

It has been a strange and exciting few days. So many good things are happening it is almost hard to believe. The only thing I really need is some more down time to write and relax.

We played the Stone Pony in NJ with a band called Soil Work (MTV video, European tour and the whole deal) odd to play a metal show with the kind of act we have. And I was the only chick, which meant my normally outlandish costume was made even more so by the fact hat every man in the place was staring at my boobs since they were the ONLY ones around.... But I screamed obscenities and compared tattoos with the rest of them. Soil Work was very nice as were everyone at the Stone Pony and Max Cruise. I don't know how many of you have been to this famous club, but it is in a really odd and surreal place in NJ. It looks as if the area once was very beautiful - over the top gorgeous and now it is trying to be that way again but has quite a few years to go.

Also other exciting news we are going to be on NPR!!!! Yes my friends, it is happening!!!!! I can't say much now, but to be sure I will be giving full details when I contractually can!

ALSO!!!!! We are going to AMSTERDAM!!! Check back for show details (there may be some, there may not) - can the dollies survive customs? Wait and see!!!!

So those were the exciting bits, the strange bit comes now... It is a weird day. One of those days you are unsure you want to do anything about. Today is simultaneously the day I am officially divorced and is the birthday of the person I am officially divorced from. I know many of you know this as I have already gotten a few emails today wishing me well and hoping I am moving on. I wish him well also. I hope that this new relationship he has brings him the kind of joy he was searching for and meaning through honesty, integrity and love. No vinegar here only hope. But a simultaneous divorce/birthday is not really the oddest part. The most weird is I received his teeth in the mail. OK, not really his teeth but a panoramic x-ray of his oral cavity. His ghost teeth smiling as me, suspended in black with silver fillings shining bright. It was certainly a bit of a shock to pull that out of a nondescript envelope. Granted, it was not entirely unexpected that I would be receiving an x-ray in the mail, but what I had expected was my own teeth. Now I am wholly unsure of what to do with this artifact. He is currently enjoying the benefits of health care that I am paying for (much to the distaste of my lawyer who advised me over an over again to save my money for something more useful - but I was insistent he have the option of taking care of himself - probably stupid of me but I always did have rose coloured glasses) So should I send him his teeth, would he want them? They are the only copy... it is certainly an odd dilemma. I have one more thing for him too, something I know for sure he would want, but haven't had the strength to send. I'll get to it I suppose.

Now this next thing isn't weird, but I have to admit it is quite worrying. My mother is ill. She has to have a procedure done on her heart. Anyone who knows my past knows my father died of a stroke after two heart attacks so I am not unfamiliar with the tragedy of heart problems. The comfort is she is doing something about it, but it is still a scary prospect. Sometime I think Robot left because of all of the pain he might have had to go through and finding someone younger whose family she was more then willing to forget makes things easier. Dealing with just one person - one who will not have health problems for years and one who does not have a family makes it far easier to focus on yourself. But that is an aside and probably one with no basis in anyone's reality but mine, but I am so good at that ;-) Anyway, this Thursday my mother will be in the hospital. I am 2000 miles away from her and I do not feel that distance more then at times like these. I know things will be fine, she will come out of it healthier then she was before and the recovery will be relatively short, but I still want to sit at her bedside. I want to be there at the hospital. I feel far away and scared and inadequate.

I look forward to Thursday night and hearing that my mother is OK and better then she was.