Edrie

I am still going to write out everything that has happened - but I think I need a quiet saturday morning for that

I got a call lat night but it was from private... was it him> I didnt make it in time and when I realized, I cried and cried. it was 1am or so (I thin) and I cursed the srugs that were making me sleep

but I know withut them I would be crazy. Lat week they tried twice to put me in the hosptial. I can;t let that happen

I have convinced them that I am eating - it makes people happy to think that

But how can I eat when all I want to do is vomit

Tonight I am going to harmony t get my future told. She begged me the other night, soaid I needed it and gave me a hug. "Please don't hurt yourself dear one. the hurt came from outside not in." How dies she know I want to rip the skin from myu body that he once exlaimed during sex
"you skin is so tight" integrated with your body

Does he care about my feelings. Dont hide from all of this

I want to see him so much I want him to show me in his black pools of eye that this is the right thing

Why do I have to start over just becaue he wasnts to. With this promise of marrage he said i would nvere have to be ithout him. Now its been more then a week

I constantly feel itt. I cant stand this

help me clean up what used to be our life - it is not fair to leave me with the pieces - even Ana said this was the most cruel way